What to give a sick pig?
Oinkment
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
You think it's the "R" but it's really the "C".
On which day do lions eat people?
Chewsday!
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Once a turtle was walking down an alley when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks
2 tigers went into a pub and after ordering two beers, took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them. "You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub owner. So the 2 tigers swapped their sandwiches.
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
What do you call a camel without any humps?
Humphrey!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
A pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake
Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don't work.
Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Thief
Once a thief enter in a home and finds a note on locker - "Please don't break the lock, Just push the button and it will open easily.
So he does the same But after doing that - Police arrives!
Thief Shouts: There is no value of Honesty!
Once a husband said his credit card was stolen but he made his mind to not to go for F.I.R. because that thief was spending less than his spouse used to!
How do you keep people from stealing your bagels?
Put lox on them.
Oinkment
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
You think it's the "R" but it's really the "C".
On which day do lions eat people?
Chewsday!
Why do ducks have webbed feet?
To stamp out fires.
Once a turtle was walking down an alley when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stamp out burning ducks
2 tigers went into a pub and after ordering two beers, took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them. "You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub owner. So the 2 tigers swapped their sandwiches.
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.
What do you call a camel without any humps?
Humphrey!
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bull-dozer.
A pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake
Why do cows wear bells?
Their horns don't work.
Q. Why do sea-gulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if they flew over the bay they would be bagels!
Thief
Once a thief enter in a home and finds a note on locker - "Please don't break the lock, Just push the button and it will open easily.
So he does the same But after doing that - Police arrives!
Thief Shouts: There is no value of Honesty!
Once a husband said his credit card was stolen but he made his mind to not to go for F.I.R. because that thief was spending less than his spouse used to!
How do you keep people from stealing your bagels?
Put lox on them.
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